Note from Teresa: I first read this after the funeral of another child, and found it to be very insightful. It helped me to know "how to" grieve alongside Shauna & Russ. It is anonymously written to the best of my knowledge. I took the liberty of personalizing it to our situation. BEREAVED PARENTS "WISH LIST" We wish our baby boy hadn't died. We wish we had him back. We wish you wouldnt be afraid to speak our son's name. He lived and was very important to us. We need to hear he was important to you also. If we cry and get emotional when you talk about Jesse, we want you to know that it isn't because you have hurt us. His death is the cause of our tears. You have talked about our son and you allowed us to share our grief. We thank you for both. Please don't shy away or avoid us. We need you now more than ever. We know you think of us and pray for us often. We also know that our son's death pains you, too. We wish you would let us know these things through a phone call, a card or note, a small squeeze or a real big hug. We need diversions, so we do want to hear about you; but we also want you to hear about us. We might be sad and we might cry, but we wish you would let us talk about our son Jesse, who means the world to us. We are working very hard on our recovery but we wish you will understand that we will never fully recover. We will always miss our baby boy, and will always grieve that he is gone. We wish you won't expect our grief to be over after a certain amount of time. These first few months are traumatic for us, but we want you to understand that our grief will never be over. We will suffer the death of our son until the day we die. We hope you won't expect us to "not think about it" or to "be happy". Neither will happen for a long time. We wish you will understand that our life has shattered. We know it is hard for you to be around us when we are feeling miserable. Please be patient with us, as we will be with you. When we say we are "doing okay", we wish you will understand that we don't "feel" okay and that we struggle daily. We wish you will undertand that a loss like this changes people. When Jesse died, a huge part of us died with him. We are not the same people we were before our son died, and we will never be those same people again.